Essence ~ Sheryl Lowe

I lost myself when I believed someone else’s opinion of me was more important and more true than my own.

I can remember the exact words that planted the seeds of self doubt that led to a spiral down hill of years of doubting and invalidating myself.

The words that became a sliding door moment that changed the course of my life forever.

The words that carried so much weight and burdened me with a shame that I carried for the next 12 years.

I have turned those words around to mean the exact opposite …. Now ….. but they were a heavy burden for 12 whole years.

I lost myself to someone else’s option and values. I devalued myself and imprisoned my mind and emotions to suit someone else’s version of who they thought I “should” be.

In yoga teacher training we learn that “should” is a violent word. Most people I relay this to scoff but I truely know the violence of the word “should.”

Should places a forceful declaration on a person or situation. It implies things shouldn’t be they way they are which is insane as Byron Katie tells us we are arguing with reality and when you argue with reality you lose only 100% of the time.

I hid my reality to match someone else’s “should”.

The violence of that word from another’s opinion silenced my inner truth for so long to the point of feeling dead inside.

The turning point was reconnecting with a friend who lives so fully in her truth, so authentically, so energetically and inspirationally.

From across the other side of the world her light shines bright enough to lead me back to my own authentic self.

The words that changed the course of my life lost their power. The words “you don’t have to be doing this” changed to “I did have to be doing what I was doing! It was my purpose and still is.”

It takes courage to live your life on your own terms from your own values and own philosophy especially when it goes against the grain of societies “dogma”.

It takes courage to use your voice when the combined voices of your community are judgmental and more opinionated.

It takes courage to voice even simple emotions and frustrations when you have been conditioned to behave as you are expected to, as you “should”.