Essence ~ Sheryl Lowe

I am auto-erotic

That means I can turn myself on, orgasm standing at the kitchen sink just from a thought. I carry myself through life in this state and I really wouldn’t want to feel any other way. I did once though, want to feel different. I was concerned that I felt too high, I felt too good all the time. Sure I would still have moments of anger, sadness, rage even, but my default state was turned on by life.

11 years ago, a seed of shame was planted in my head. I started to believe societies conditioning and the cloud of shame attached to being ‘sexual’. I started to care about what people thought of me and what I did (a style of tantra massage and coaching) when previously all I felt was privileged to be able to do what I did and give to the world my sensual genius. I did have moments of frustration trying to get my message out there to the world of marketing without sounding like a sex worker which was probably my biggest challenge to try and describe Sexual Transmutation as a therapy, a self developmental path.

Once the seed of shame took root and grew, I went into a panic of sorts and totally destroyed my once successful business. My Goddess and Femme Fatale went into hiding and my saboteur and victim ran the show. My ‘turn on’ dissolved.

I have now come full circle and from it, I have gained the most important lesson I have ever needed to learn in life. I have learnt to not only embrace my ‘taboo persona’ my Femme Fatale, my Goddess who loves sensuality, touch, getting turned on by everything, I have learnt to ecstatically love my ‘taboo persona’ Yasmin. I have called my spirit back and I am f*cking alive again! I am turned on by life and vow never to lose myself again to the pressures of society’s conditioning ever again.

I can’t tell you how freeing this feels. I have gone from a state of needing to ‘be good’ to feel accepted, needing to be seen as respectable, competent, well presented, humble and reserved, to a state or feeling of “I have a secret piece of magic I carry with me and it excites and turns me on. You can see it in my smile, my energy the way I carry myself but you will never be able to know who I really am.”

Do you have a repressed taboo side to yourself that you keep hidden from the world because it would be seen as unacceptable? I bet you do because most of us do. The missing ingredient to the orgasmic essence formula is getting to know your shadow, your taboo persona and loving him/her.

This is not as easy as it sounds but so worth the journey. I know, I have been to h*ll and back and by god, I am back!!!!!!